Weather - Sunny mid 70's
Crowd - Moderate - mostly Family groups and small children. There were two company picnics as well.
Disclaimer! : This TR is mainly about the SFSTL Fright Fest. I have covered rides in other TR's, so if you want information on the rides, I suggest you look there. It is very important to note that I take haunted attractions very seriously. I look at the quality of effects, quality of make-up, and the quality of the actors as one experience. In my opinion the perfect haunted attraction uses fear to entertain much the way a roller coaster entertains by thrills. I knew not to expect perfection when I went to the park based on my experiences from the last two years, but I did not expect an amateur production either.
My group arrived at the park at 10:45a.m. We approached the main gates, passed the inflatable pumpkin, and waited until open at 11:00. The plaza did not seem to be as decorated this year, but we were treated to the countdown to fright fest across the loudspeakers, then it was time to enter.
Two things hit me immediately in the main plaza. There seemed to be a lot of families and small children, and there were no actors present in the main plaza. We proceeded to Batman The Ride. Their were no decorations to be seen in the main plaza other than the changed store names (AmberZombie & Witch..etc), and there were no decorations in the movie backlot area.
We rode B:TR, The Joker, Ninja, and then Waterstreet Thrill (Cab) Company. This is the bumper car ride. Last year it had a sound system, strobes, spotlights, it played Halloween music, and there was an anaconda prop in the queue that jumped over a wall at you. This year it had the sound system, and some cheap disco lights that weren't even strong enough to light up the track. Instead of Halloween music, we were subjected to pop music. Some thrill
It should also be noted that the only decorations to be seen at this point were two small graveyards with a few mannequins.
We then went to River King Mine Train and Screaming Eagle. This year they added gauze stretched and cut to look like spider webs in both of these rides line queue. Screaming Eagle's queue also featured several 3ft tarantulas similar to those you can buy at a Halloween Store. River King Mine Train also had Styrofoam heads wrapped in white thin fabric made to look like ghosts. Overall it looked cheap, but it was an improvement over last year. There was also an alligator guarding the path leading to Eagle in front of the restrooms. We hit Mr. Freeze before lunch Yay!
It was 1:30p.m. when we decided to go to the car to eat. On the way to the car we saw the "Sinister Clowns of the Big Top" circus that had been set up in front of the Palace theater. It was bigger than last year and in a new place, but it was roped off and blocked by benches. At that point in time I realized that I had not seen one actor in any section of the park as of yet. We ate lunch and returned around 2p.m. On the way in I asked a Fright Fest staffer, if there were even any actors in the park today. She replied that they usually don't start until between 2 and 3 in the afternoon.
Sure enough on our way through the main gate in there was an old guy posing as a ghost cowboy. He was the only character in the main plaza
and he was entertaining small children calling them little pardners like some cheap birthday act instead of terrorizing them. I remembered that the main plaza is where they put meet n' greet characters, so I didn't think much of it. On our way to the Boss we passed the "Sinister" Big Top. All of the "clowns" were dressed well, but their face make up was cheap grease paint and wigs. They were mainly standing around waving at people. I thought it was bad, but the real slap in the face was seeing one of the so called "Sinister" Clowns kneeled down next to a stroller playing with a small child using a bike horn. I am very fond of the evil clown character in any haunt. I often portray an evil clown in my haunts, and I even wear coulrophobia shirts. This "cute" little sight irritated me just a bit given that I did not expect FRIGHT Fest to be KIDDIE Fest.
After riding the Boss, we went back to the Palace theater for their show this year "Ghouls Rush In”. On the way we went through the "Sinister" Big Top. Once again the clowns were just standing around. They didn't even look scary or twisted. They actually looked like the kind of cheap clown you'd see at a local fair or 4th rate circus. The only interaction I got out of these "actors" was a cute little female clown who came up to me, tugged on my shirt, and then pointed at my clown on the shirt. She then put her hand over her lips almost like an "oops" type motion. There were some neat props including a tight rope bicycle riding clown that I am going to try and recreate myself next year. Other than that it was a boring walk. Several of the "clowns" were carrying those little annoying bike horns and they were honking them at people.
As for the show "Ghouls Rush In" The songs sounded like karaoke night at the local bar, and the dancing was about on par with the singing. One of the members of our group loves show tunes and thinks little shows like this are "kitsch". After five minutes of this show he looked like he was in pain. When Frankenstein broke out into the first line of a very off key "Time
Warp", I actually thought our friend's head was going to explode. Combine that with Glitch the Witches most annoying voice (think nails on chalkboard in a helium inhaled pitch)- we left after 15mins.
We went to the Terror Train which was themed to Pigman yet again. On the way we passed the "clowns" who were still standing around looking bored, and waving to small kids. Only this time their make-up had begun to run down their faces. This was only 90 mins after we first encountered the "clowns". These guys didn't even bother to set their make-up.
We just missed the train, so we ended up in the station waiting for the next 15-20min. While waiting I again noticed the abundance of families with small children even younger than my own 4yr old daughter. For our wait we were treated to some "entertaining" by one of the not so "Sinister" "clowns". He came up to the other side of the tracks, and decided to honk a little bike horn at the children waiting in the station. He would honk then point to different parts in the crowd of kids, and raise his arms. Each time the kids would respond by cheering as loud as they could. This went on for 10-15 minutes, before loading on then train. We then loaded onto the train (a 5-10 min process) which put this blasted clown closer to us, and he continued to play this little game. Finally I couldn't
take any more. When he honked his horn right next to me, I turned and asked him, "The sign says Sinister Clown, right?" He nodded yes in agreement. "Then can you tell me what is so sinister about entertaining small children?" At this point he stopped honking and attempted to act sinister by staring at kids. He didn't look sinister, he looked pathetic. I may have been mean, but you try taking 20 minutes of this crap and tell me you don't want to pull a "Problem Child" on the clown.
The train ride itself was actually fun. There was a strobe tunnel and an air kicker in a dynamite barrel to simulate gun shots. Instead of the generic burn gel from last year, they went with the outlaw bandanna and an old west theme. The other train station doubled as a burning bank. Right before the "Bank" we passed the Trolls who had moved to the Britannia section this year. They were actually waving at the train:shock: The finale was the same with my favorite .50 cal machine gun attached to a loud dual air kicker, followed by the propane explosion in the shed complete with fireball.
We then rode some more rides, and visited the Trolls on the way to the hayride. At 5:34p.m.(Yes I was so damn PO'ed at the supposed "fright" fest that I noted the time) we saw the first attempt at a scare. A very clever troll had hidden in the bottom of a trash can, and would pop out the side panel at people who got too close. Problem is the rest of the Trolls stood around and watched. The clever Troll wasn't successful, but at least it was entertaining, and an attempt at "Fright".
The hayride was themed to "Toxic Teens". Apparently 16yr olds wearing Goth make-up and army jackets qualify as a Toxic Waste Zombie. I would have thought stippled latex painted to look like rotting flesh would have done the trick, but no. There were no less than 5 of these little buggers each one of them with a brand new neon green non blood stained Poulan chainsaw that you would see before seeing who was carrying it. In fact this was the only kind of monster on the ride. Once is neat, twice is pushing it,
but man it just got old quick. There were some bright points to the ride though. They had some good placement of ScAIR cannons on the path which got more scares then the five chainsaws. Plus you got to go through the old ride boneyard. In the boneyard you could see the remains of an Intamin Looping starship, and two trains to some old rollercoaster. They looked like Schwarzkopf, white with blue OTSR. There was an insignia on the front, but I wasn't close enough to tell what it was. Anyone know what they went to? You also rounded a large tall pile of scrap metal. The ride ends with a trip through a cornfield complete with spooky chants provided by the monks from Monty Python (book slapping forehead sound included). Wow.. just when I thought it couldn't get any worse.
We went and got our night rides on Eagle & Mr. Freeze. We visited the Trolls again who had started chasing little kids. We also saw the Ghouls haunting the two tunnels by Freeze. The tunnels were lit with blacklights, but the Ghouls mainly stood around. It was very disappointing, but there were some nice pneumatic pop ups to pick up the lack of human powered scares.
After my last ride under a full moon on Freeze, I checked to see if the clowns had scared up their act since nightfall was firmly in place. No such luck. One "clown" actually asked us where we were going. My friend replied "to hell", I replied "to Guest Relations."
I stopped at Guest Relations to inquire as to why this Fright Fest was incredibly tame. Perhaps Sundays are a Family Day, or its Family Friendly during daylight? Neither of these things are advertised, but it would have been more welcome than the actual response I got. I originally was told that the park is more family friendly during the day on Friday and Saturday, but on Sunday anything goes. When I pointed out that today was Sunday and that definitely wasn't the case, the lady asked a supervisor.
His response was that the "monsters" don't try to scare in daylight because it’s hard to do. I find this excuse to be unacceptable as I was able to scare a little girl who was using the outhouse to squirt people. She opened the door, backed right into me, I barked "Pardon Me!", she jumped and Screamed. Life was good for a split second, and I wasn't even in a costume other than dark sunglasses! Three hours of no monsters , then four hours of family friendly monsters followed by two hours of attempted scaring is not a FRIGHT Fest.
This park already has several kids’ activities for Fright Fest. There is a haunted Pirate trail, a scavenger hunt, ghost stories,and other family activities. Why take away the scary stuff for older people? Six Flags advertises Fright Fest as thrills and chills, but at SFSTL all hints of a haunt have been erased by two causes. Their desire to be family friendly, and the fact that the park took over Fright Fest from JPM in an attempt to cut costs a few years back. Ever since then the quality has been extremely
lacking. A person familiar with this parks operations convinced me to give this park on more try for Fright Fest after my bad experience last year. I went to the park looking for improvement and found quite the opposite. As much as I love haunts and props (heck just look at my screen name), I find myself seriously doubting a return trip to next years Fright Fest. I can only hope that SFSTL starts recruiting people who actually have the mindset for a haunt, and the heart to be a good monster. Not the kind of people that lack enthusiasm, and use daylight as a poor excuse not to scare.
Wow! It sounds like a good thing I cancelled my St Louis trip then.
