![Image](http://i.imgur.com/4cG3Vl.jpg)
My quest continues to ride a roller coaster in every hemisphere on earth, having accomplished 2 of 4, I thought the Eastern Hemisphere was the next logical step.
This brought me to Chaoyang Park in sunny* Beijing, Peoples Republic of China.
*Sunny when the sun can be seen though the pollution, yesterday was not one of those days.
I had always imagined that a communist society was a place lacking of capitalistic values such as the dreaded admission price and lines, but yesterday I found my dreams crushed. The price to enter the park was 5RMB, which for those of you not savy in currency exchange economics, equates to about 75 cents. Outraged, I threw a 5 note at the ticket lady and stormed off through the gates.
![Image](http://i.imgur.com/sU9XRl.jpg)
Upon entering I found I beat the crowds. Still trained from the "running of the bulls" aka sprinting to get the first ride on X coaster for pure nerd credit, I sprinted past the calls of "Hello" "PLAY A GAME?!" "WIN A PRIZE".
![Image](http://i.imgur.com/qgRVcl.jpg)
![Image](http://i.imgur.com/1xVq9l.jpg)
Some things piqued my interest. Instead of funnel cakes, you have Tokoyo Crepes. Instead of Dipindots you have Barton's Paratrooper in such exotic flavors as Green Tea. Also, nobody was manning any of the stalls?! Turns out, not enough people for all the jobs in China-- any Americans need a job?
![Image](http://i.imgur.com/fbgarl.jpg)
Also turns out, China needs people to visit their themeparks.
![Image](http://i.imgur.com/youL7l.jpg)
The train
![Image](http://i.imgur.com/zcarYl.jpg)
Thrilling ... penguins?
The first ride is some sort of a Safari mine cart type ride. No thrilling drops, no inversions, just the pure raw ferocity of an African safari. Unfortunately, as I entered the que, I found myself in a real life Jurassic Park. Turns out one of the beasts managed to escape through the high tech electrical fencing after a deranged ex employee sent a computer spike. Ride was shut down for the rest of the day.
![Sad :(](https://www.sfgamworld.com/forum/images/smilies/icon_sad.gif)
![Image](http://i.imgur.com/JdxqAl.jpg)
It took 12 hours for animal control to get the park back under control.
The Park had an assortment of flat rides. I was excited to ride the bumpercars, but I felt that the building was in imminent danger of collapse. Also, who rides bumpercars alone?
![Image](http://i.imgur.com/Xs5Xa.jpg)
PENG PENG ROOF COLLAPSE
![Image](http://i.imgur.com/9DU4O.jpg)
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![Image](http://i.imgur.com/raM6q.jpg)
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The next roller coaster was a minecart roller coaster. Looked really really fun, however, upon searching the premises, I could not find the ride operator. He must have snuck off for a nap inside the mountain.
![Image](http://i.imgur.com/r4Euo.jpg)
![Image](http://i.imgur.com/FTXBG.jpg)
What do you coaster dorks consider this? It both rolls and coasts, is it a roller coaster? I expect a 5 paragraph MLA style research paper arguing your point.
The next roller coaster was this wild mouse thing. I could not find the entrance. Did not ride.
![Image](http://i.imgur.com/NLMsG.jpg)
I DID manage to find the entrance of SPINNING COASTER! However the admission of the park does not cover rides, so I could not afford the 2RMB (12 cents) to ride. I've never been so sad as that moment.
![Image](http://i.imgur.com/RLphM.jpg)
![Image](http://i.imgur.com/QAKXf.jpg)
And our GRAND FINALE -- Roller Coaster a Hebei Zhongye Metallurgical Equipment Manufacturing Co.,Ltd Loopscrew!
Unfortunately, the park suddenly got crowded at this point.
![Image](http://i.imgur.com/nj7eg.jpg)
Look at that, a whole 5 people -- 4 of of which are queued for ROLLER COASTER!
![Image](http://i.imgur.com/vhvlTl.jpg)
![Image](http://i.imgur.com/R1odrl.jpg)
![Image](http://i.imgur.com/7tx7Cl.jpg)
![Image](http://i.imgur.com/Jkcevl.jpg)
And if you want to see a video of this fine piece of engineering
http://youtu.be/HheOc8Xo06M
The line was too long, so I couldn't ride before they sent us all home at 4pm.
Oh well, at the end of the day my ride totals were
Safari: 0 - Wildlife broke loose
White wild mouse thing: 0 - Could not locate enterance
SPINNING COASTER: 0 - couldnt afford 12 cents
Mine Cart ride: 0 - Couldnt find ride operator
ROLLER COASTER: 0 - Line too long
Flat rides: 0 - feared for my safety