Rate the Joke above You

[Sfagm-is-the-best]

2/30


A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examing his eyes. In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You need to stop masturbating."

The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"

The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."

[Do I Know You]

8/10

Knock knock
Who's there?
Jim
Oh hey Jim, come on in.

[CoasterDude12-2]

5/10

A man went to a gift store to buy his girlfriend a pair of gloves. He had the manager try them on. She said they were perfect, so he had the manager wrap them up. When the manager gave him the gift she accidently gave him a pair of panties instead. When the girlfriend got the gift there was a note attached to it.
The note read:
Dear Honey, Hope you like the gift.The lady at store said they were perfect. I had her try them on for me. She looked more like a lady. I hope you will wear them for me Friday night.
Love, Bobby
PS:The latest style is to wear them folded in with a little fur showing.

[Do I Know You]

8/10

Yo mama's so fat, that she was instructed by the doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease or a heart attack later in life.

[CoasterDude12-2]

6/10



Yo' mama so stupid, She asked me what letter comes after X, so I said Y. So she said "Because I wanna know!"

[batman1150]

7/10



racial joke
dont be offended im not a rasicst



q-why dont black people like country music?

a-becuase when they hear "ho-down" they think thier sister has been shot!LOL

[Do I Know You]

6/10

Q: What's the difference between George Bush and a sack of oranges?
A: One of them is President of the United States, the other is a sack full of fruit.

[CoasterDude12-2]

6.5/10


Two blondes walked in to a bar...Thought they'd see that coming.

[Do I Know You]

Mang, I heard that one when I was 10.

And now for a classic.
Q: What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
A: Cancer.

[FreghtFestFreak3]

1/10 thats just mean

MJ joke:

I got a car today, When i say rock it plays rock. Shen i say soul, it plays soul. When kids run in fron of me and i say {bleep}n kids, it plays Michael Jackson

[Do I Know You]

8/10

A priest, a rabbi, and Snoop Dogg walked into a bar. The bartender said, "Is this some kind of joke?"

[FreghtFestFreak3]

5/10

Blonde Joke:

A brunette, a Red head, and a bvlonde are running from a mugger. They are chased down an alley and hide in potato sacks. The mugger pokes the sack with the red head and she goes "Meow Meow." He pokes the sack with the brunette and she goesd "arf arf." He pokes she sack woth the blonde in it and she goesn "potato potato."

[Do I Know You]

5/10

Two guys walked into a bar. The first guy ordered a beer, and the second guy ordered a glass of white wine. They both finished their drinks and walked out.

[FreghtFestFreak3]

0/10 thats not even remotley funny!

What's a sheep with no legs called?
a cloud!

[Do I Know You]

5/10

OK, time for a non anti-joke.
Q: What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?
A: Their biggest hit was Tthe Wall.

[w00dland]

7/10

A tall blonde and a tall brunette are stading in an elevator. A short bald man with lots of dandruff walks in, then gets off at the next floor. The brunette says, “Boy he could use some head and shoulders.”
The blonde says, “Hm. How do you give shoulders?”

[Dmrbug]

6/10

After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, &
then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are
some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas' pilots & the
solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.
----------------------------------------
(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
----------------------------------------
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
----------------------------------------
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
----------------------------------------
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
----------------------------------------
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
----------------------------------------
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
----------------------------------------
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
----------------------------------------
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
----------------------------------------
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
----------------------------------------
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
----------------------------------------
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
----------------------------------------
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, & be serious.
----------------------------------------
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
----------------------------------------
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
----------------------------------------
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on
something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget